Junk Food For The Eyes.

I like films that are completely ludicrous. Sometimes i just want to shut off my brain and watch a film that shows me a little nudity and shit blows up. Here are 5 films that some may consider trash but i consider gold!

5. Stone Cold
Hey,anyone remember Brian Bosworth....Former Seattle Sea hawks linebacker who had a small film run. A lot of people might recognize the Boz as one of the redneck guards in the remake of The Longest Yard. I like to remember him as a bad-ass cop who gets blackmailed into infiltrating a biker gang led by Bishop from Aliens. Crazy one liners and over the top violence make this film a must.

Here is the reason to watch this film. Watch Boz kick the shit out of a biker all while rocking a Kentucky Waterfall.

4. Action Jackson

What can you say about Action Jackson other than the fact that Carl Weathers is a supreme bad-ass. Watch this movie and then try not to argue that fact that his character Dillion in Predator should have not only taken down said Predator but also have made Arnold his bitch. Another film filled with glorious 80's music and bloody sadistic violence. I love it.

LOOK AT THIS SHIT!!!!

3. The Punisher (1989)

Anyone who knows me is aware of my fascination with the man mountain know as Dolph Lundgren.  He attended the Royal Institute Of Technology in Stockholm Sweden. He received a masters degree in chemical engineering.  He then was awarded a Full Bright scholarship to MIT. He also is a 2nd degree black belt in karate and can play a wide range of musical instruments. He can speak 6 different languages and at one time portrayed the definition of my childhood known as He-Man. I feel as though his film was marred by a hokey script and lazy writing yet he still managed to be a pretty good interpretation of The Punisher. Again more late 80's Velveeta with some crazy violence. Word of warning, be careful about what you say of Dolph.... He is smarter,tougher and better with the ladies than you. You might come home one day and find him giving the rails to your girlfriend, he then will kick your ass all while waxing poetic about cold fusion and playing his own musical score to accompany said beating.

2. Hard Target

 In my humble opinion this is not only one of Van Damme's most enjoyable films but also a great intro for John Woo into US film. Although Woo will never achieve in America what he did overseas this is still a reminder that the man has style.

1. The Perfect Weapon
Why has Jeff Speakman not had more roles. The dude has charisma and a crazy martial arts background. If he showed up in expendables 2 i would literally shit a brick. I remember this film fondly because it was when a child under 17 or 18 could get into a R rated film without an adult. Ah.... Good Times.

The 5 Films i Enjoyed The Most This Summer

5. Transformers Dark Of The Moon.

Look, is it good.... NO. If it fun... YES. The story may be trite and the acting may be sub-par but the action is fucking epic. I enjoyed the hell out of it and the fact that they FINALLY turned Optimus Prime into a full fledged bad-ass caused me to have a grin from ear to ear. So all you haters of Bay-hem shut the fuck up and just enjoy the ride... cause it's a good one.

4. Fright Night

Did i see it in 3d... no. 3d is a joke and i hope it dies soon. In Fright Nights entire 2 hr run maybe 2 mins could have been used for 3d. The film was fun and i enjoyed it quite a bit. I am a diehard fan of the original and i thought this was a good offshoot from that film. The original still owns this one but that primarily has to do with it's casting choices and my affinity for traditional effects over cgi. If you are a Doctor Who fan do yourself a favor and watch this movie. David Tennant for life.

3. Captain America

I have talked to many people who felt the film was lacking or that it was too slow. It is a period piece plain and simple and a damn fine one at that. Chris Evans proved everyone wrong and brought a strong performance to what could have been a one note role. Captain America was epic and i thought Director Joe Johnston brought some of that sparkle that he created on The Rocketeer and injected it into the film.  Since Disney now owns the Marvel film rights and they also own The Rocketeer someone give me a team up picture stat.

2. Thor And X-men First Class

OK, out of these two films Thor is the better movie. It's epic and if you are a fan of the early Jack Kirby Stan Lee era you where spider-webbing all over the theater like i was. Although the earth bound content was weak Asgard kicked all kinds of ass.
First Class was just a good Xmen film. Yes, it blows apart comic continuity but who gives a shit. Just give me a good movie and that's what Matthew Vaughn did. Buy the Blu-Ray and shut  down your fan-boy bitching and maybe we will actually get a good Wolverine movie for once.

1. Attack The Block

I have no words to describe how great this film is. As soon as you get a chance watch it. It is literally one of the best films to not only come out this summer but this year. What are you waiting for? Find this film somewhere and watch it NOW!!! Check out the trailer below.

What Happened To John Carpenter?

I was super excited when word on the street was that John Carpenter was getting back into the game and making a full fledged film and not a mini movie Ala Masters Of Horror. I mean if you grew up in the 80's John Carpenter films where a right of passage. Some of my favorite films to this day are Carpenter films. As i watched his latest film The Ward unspool in front of my eyes i began to spiral into a tailspin of suck. This guy is a genre genius and i am watching utter crap about MPD(multiple personality order.) Sorry but i expect more form the master of the genre. This is the guy who ignited the slasher film craze of the late 70's early 80's. As i sit hear and listen to my Big Trouble In Little China soundtrack i am reminded that not only was carpenter a uber talented director and writer but he also can knock the cock off a soundtrack. Sit back and behold some of the genius that is John Carpenter and pray we get a true return to form sooner rather than later.

1. They Live
This by far is my favorite film that Carpenter has ever made. It has great dialogue. A fun premise and some of the most balls out bad-ass fight scenes ever committed to celluloid. The fight between Rowdy Roddy Piper and Keith David is fucking amazing and it gets me pumped every time i see it. Even south park copied said scene for a episode. Behold..... They Live.

Here is one of the greatest line from the film.

Big Trouble In Little China was one of the many collaborations that Carpenter did with Kurt Russell and it happens to be my favorite.

The Thing is getting some sort of prequel and it's rated pg-13. Fuck that how do you make a pg-13 film prequel that ties to Carpenter's remake. Fuck Hollywood. Yet another team up of Russell and Carpenter and let's not forget more Keith David. Some of the best special effects to this day.

That's fucked up.... Check this out.

Next we have Escape From New York. Just a great film full of synth music and 80's grim and grit.

Finally we have the film that kind of kick started shit into high gear for Carpenter. One Word...you know it.... Halloween. BTW Rob Zombie this is how you make a movie about Michael Myers.

The Darkest Hour

A film produced by the director of Nightwatch and Wanted. The energy based alien design are kinda sick. This might be a winner.

The Sitter

A lot of people are not fans of Jonah Hill. I happen to think he is quite amusing. This films reminds me of a R rated version of Adventures In Babysitting. If you are not sure what that movie is then thanks..... I now feel really old.

The Ballad Of Mike Haggar

If you are at all a fan of Final Fight stop what you are doing right now and watch this.

First Look At The New Superman

I am really digging the costume. Follow the link and check it out.
http://www.aintitcool.com/node/50679

Bane

Check out these early shots of Tom Hardy as Bane. Even though its daylight and these obviously are not Nolan approved i still think he looks badass. Follow the link and see Bane.
http://www.aintitcool.com/node/50619

Scott Adkins

Lately i have been watching a lot of dtv action films. This guy keeps popping up in quite a few and you know what.... he is actually a pretty bad-ass martial artist. Check out a few of his scenes below.


This clip is from Ninja.

Here he is in The Tournament vs Kelly Hu.

Here are some random clips of him being a total bad-ass.

And finally Michael Jai White vs Scott Adkins in Undisputed 2.

The Expendables 2

This cast is shaping up to be epic.
Stallone
Mickey Rourke
Jason Statham
Dolph Lundgren
Randy Coutre
Terry Crews
Bruce Willis and Schwarzenegger are all confirmed to be coming back. The only one missing is Jet Li. But the new confirmed cast members are...
Van Damme (squeal)
John Travolta and Chuck Fucking Norris. Holy shit. Now we just need to wait till August 17th 2012 to see this shit go down. Yes, The Dark Knight Rises and The Avengers will be amazing but my most anticipated film of 2012 is The Expendables 2. Like a shot of adrenaline straight to your nuts! Check out the link and drool.
http://www.joblo.com/horror-movies/news/